Pdt Victor Liu
Khotbah 24 Agustus 2025
HOW TO BE FRIENDS?
* There are 4 things that are important or have an influence in our lives: What you SEE, what you READ, what you USE your MONEY for, and who your FRIENDS are.
Friends in Proverbs
Proverbs 18:24 (ESV)
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 17:17 (ESV)
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 27:17 (NET)
As iron sharpens iron, so a person sharpens his friend.
Proverbs 27:6 (ESV)
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
Proverbs 13:20 (ESV)
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Proverbs 16:28 (ESV)
A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer ( gossip ) separates close friends.
The outline of sermon
@ Calling / needed for friendship
@ Purpose for friendship
@ Quality of friendship
#1. Calling/ Needed for friendship
Proverbs 13:20 (ESV)
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
See Paul warned that “Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”
1 Corinthians 15:33 (NET)
* This world is full of sorrow because it is full of sin. It is a dark place. It is a lonely place. It is a disappointing place. The brightest sunbeam in it is a friend. Friendship halves our troubles and doubles our joys. —J.C. Ryle
Dunia ini penuh duka karena penuh dosa. Dunia ini gelap. Dunia ini sepi. Dunia ini mengecewakan. Sinar matahari paling terang di dunia ini adalah seorang sahabat. Persahabatan mengurangi separuh masalah kita dan melipatgandakan kebahagiaan kita. —J.C. Ryle
God calls you personally, but to serve Him, and He uses you alongside fellow workers. Blessed is a servant of His to have friends to serve with. To serve Him together, you must be able to build godly friendships.
Tuhan memanggil anda secara pribadi, tetapi untuk melayaniNya, dan Tuhan memakai anda bersama dengan teman-teman sekerja. Berhagialah kalau seorang pelayanNya mempunyai para sahabat untuk melayani bersama. Untuk melayaniNya bersama, anda harus bisa membangun persahabatan yang saleh.
* You are not an island alone. No one is an island.
Anda bukan sebuah pulau yang yang menyendiri. No body is an island.
* In a world full of problems, cruelty, busyness, and selfishness, friendship is something that is very important and necessary.
Di tengah dunia yang penuh masalah, kejam, sibuk dan egois, persahabatan itu menjadi suatu hal yang sangat penting dan diperlukan.
#2. Purpose for Friendship
Proverbs 27:17 (NET)
As iron sharpens iron, so a person sharpens his friend.
Socrates, a Greek Philosopher, said that 3 kinds of friends: friend of benefit, friend of pleasure, friend of virtue/ goodness or focus on character.
4 stages in friendship
In building friendship, we must know there are 4 stages. Firstly, when we meet the first time. As a new friend, We should ask General Questions. Secondly, after become friend, we can ask Specific Questions. Thirdly, when friendship continues, we can give SUGGESTIONS. And lastly, stage 4, we become good friends. Then we can give INSIGHT or a godly CRITICISM or the FLAWS each other. This level focuses on character.
Purpose of friendship Biblically: building/ growing mature like Jesus Christ
Friends is a gift from the Lord for divine purpose, to grow like Jesus Christ, our Lord & Saviour King, Rebecca McLaughlin
*God uses His Words, circumstances/ problems and PEOPLE to change us to be like Christ. Therefore, friendship with our believer friends, especially in our dynamic cell group ( KKD) and our family as a God’s tool to transform us to be like Christ.
Colossians 1:28 (NET)
“We proclaim him by instructing and teaching all people with all wisdom so that we may present every person mature in Christ.”
Romans 8:29 (NET)
“because those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.”
#3. Quality of Friendship
Many people don’t have friends because they don’t fulfill the requirements of a friend. In building friendships, we learn to fulfill and provide two needs or requirements for building friendships.
Banyak yang tidak mempunyai teman karena tidak menghidupkan persyaratan sebagai seorang teman. Dalam Membangun pertemanan, kita belajar untuk menghidupkan, memberikan 2 kebutuhan atau persyaratan dalam membangun persahabatan.
A. Have an attitude of loyalty/sacrificial relationship — learning giving, sharing, paying attention, loving, sacrificing , supporting, asking, praying for our friends.
Proverbs 18:24 (ESV)
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who STICKS closer than a brother.
Proverbs 17:17 (ESV)
A friend loves at ALL TIMES, and a brother is born for adversity.
* Self-centered people can’t build friendships. There’s no place for selfish person and person who doesn’t want to sacrifice in building friendships.
B. Have an attitude of openness or telling the truth with love
We must Listening, compassion first, and second, we give the truth or we give a godly criticism, insight for our friends.
Proverbs 27:6 (ESV)
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
Proverbs 16:28 (ESV)
A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer ( gossip ) separates close friends.
See Ephesians 4:15 (NET)
“But practicing the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Christ, who is the head ”
* Gossip is a “knife” that can tear friends apart because spreading information about someone, even without malicious intent, still damages trust.
People who gossip will make others lose trust.
Gossip and slander can sow hostility and damage established friendships.
Quality to tell the truth with love
To speak truth in love, we should have two qualities: (1) humbly approachable and (2) courageously honest, Paul David Tripp.
The acceptance of Christ for us, sinner and ugly, enables us to receive a godly criticism.
Always remember that Jesus has accepted us and loves us, so we don’t need to be afraid of being seen or revealing our shortcomings. Don’t be quick to defend yourself, but listen first with a big heart.
The dangerous of no having loyalty/ loving and telling the truth with love in friendship
*Being loyal/sacrificial love without telling the truth is a surface and compromise friendship; we ignore flaw of our friends, growing longer in relationship but there is no transformation and in contrast, telling the truth without love is rough or like a hammer. Rough words hurt people, including our friends and our spouse, our family.
CLOSING: GAZING on JESUS CHRIST.
How can we cultivate, build our friendship? Looking at Jesus Christ/ Gazing on Jesus Christ as the Wellspring, the Foundation and the Model of Friendship. Our love to Christ enables us to build, to cultivate our godly friendship.
John 15:12-15 (ESV)
12 This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.
13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
14 You are my friends if you do what I command you.
15 No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.
*In the New Testament The love of Jesus as the wellspring, the foundation and the model for our relationship to others ( to those who hate us, our friends, our spouse & family, our church’s friends)
*When we put love of Jesus first, we will find we love our friends, our biological families, or His followers family more. Our love for them will profoundly shaped by our love for Him, Rebecca McLaughlin ( a biblical vision for friendship: No Greater Love).
Bilamana kita mengutamakan kasih kepada Yesus, kita akan menemukan bahwa kita lebih mengasihi sahabat-sahabat kita, keluarga kandung kita, atau keluarga pengikut-Nya. Kasih kita kepada mereka akan dibentuk secara mendalam oleh kasih kita kepada-Nya.